it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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