considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize