I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
