well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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