don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Too much gin, very little bucket
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
