You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just saw a hot homeless man
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm both gender and math confused
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
