So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
