You're my little dorito
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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