She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
