One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
