i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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