You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
