My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
