Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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