You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
