spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize