The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
