Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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