I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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