He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
