he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
