you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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