And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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