Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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