She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
