Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
