If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
