I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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