U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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