All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
