After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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