Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
