i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
