Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
