drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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