Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
