lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
