Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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