google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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