you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I think your dad took our porno
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
