Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
