Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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