you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
