He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
