You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
