I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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