Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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