I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
