This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
