Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
