also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
