he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
