He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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