I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
