Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
