I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
