his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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