found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
