Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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