she peed on how many people?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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