I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
