dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize